The Ghastly Exchange – Episode 15
“Good morning,” I said, striding into the kitchen, my chest out and my chin high.
The delicious aroma of pancakes made my mouth water. I always experience a twinge of guilt when Cook makes those seeing as she was as flat as one herself, which may or may not have been caused by a misfiring spell I will never admit I cast.
Cook looked up from the pan she was standing over. “Oh, you’re out of bed. Are you feeling better?”
Her words made me pause.
I’d been so focussed on returning to the castle and righting the wrong inflicted on me by Igor’s fiendish device, I hadn’t spared much thought about what he might have been up to since he’d swapped bodies with me.
And in the half an hour since our minds had swapped back to our original bodies, I hadn’t given an iota of consideration to how Virrellenta would react when she found out Igor’s mind had gone and mine was back where it belonged.
The hairs on the back of my neck prickled. When I’d been a boy, I’d read a fair few tales of vampires. The bloodthirsty monsters were prone to fly into a rage when their plans went awry. And judging by the lurid illustrations accompanying the tales, things didn’t go well for those who got in their way.
Icy fingers crawled up my spine. If Virrellenta was exposed as the monster she was, the most expedient way for her to achieve her plan to take over the castle would be for her to get rid of anyone who might object. Like Trewla and Cook and… well, every Denizen too.
For the sake of everyone’s lives, I needed to keep the foul countess from finding out her faithful servant’s mind had left my body, and my mind had returned.
To achieve that, it was vital I pretended to everyone that I was Igor.
The trouble was… Igor would have been pretending to be me.
I massaged my temples.
So… I had to pretend I was Igor pretending to be me.
It made my head spin.
“Well?” said Cook, taking the pan off the stove. “Are you feeling more like yourself again this morning?”
I stared at her in dismay. Had she seen through me already?
“I really am him… I mean, me,” I said.
Her brow creased in puzzlement.
I was saved from explaining further when the door opened.
My heart skipped a beat when I saw who was there.
With her hair pulled back in a braid exposing her charming pointed ears, her lovely face glowing in the morning light, Trewla came into the kitchen, the hem of her green dress brushing the floor.
Her eyebrows rose when she saw me.
“You must be feeling better,” she said.
Feeling better? Cook had used those words too.
My eyes widened as it dawned on me what was going on. Igor must have found it impossible to emulate my charismatic personality. To avoid him being caught out, Virrellenta must have ordered him to feign sickness and take himself to bed.
“Yes,” I said. “I’m feeling much better. Just like my old self.” I licked my suddenly dry lips. “That is, um, not exactly myself… but, um… someone like it.”
“He shouldn’t be up and about. He’s delirious,” said Cook.
Trewla put her hands on her hips and looked at me through narrowed eyes. “I’m not sure… He seems more like himself than he has since he returned to the castle with that dreadful woman.”
My stomach dropped. If Virrellenta heard that, she’d put Trewla right at the top of her list of undesirables.
I gave a brittle laugh. “Dreadful is rather a strong word, don’t you think?”
“Not strong enough.” Trewla glared at me. “And you’re just as bad.”
“Eh?” I squeaked.
“What really happened to Grimmon?” Trewla fixed me with a piercing stare. “The two of you went out on a jaunt together, and you returned with that obnoxious woman in tow, but without Grimmon. And don’t give me that nonsense again about him deciding to stay on in that world.” She folded her arms.
I gaped at her as I tried to figure out what to say.
I’d seen the traitorous goblin entering the castle after he’d abandoned me on the road, so I knew he was back. But Igor wouldn’t have known. So… as much as I wanted to, I couldn’t defend myself.
My scheme to pretend I was Igor was unravelling already.
There was only one thing I could do: make a tactical retreat.
“Oh dear,” I said, wiping the back of my hand across my forehead. “I’m not feeling well.”
Before she or Cook could ask any more awkward questions, I hastened out of the kitchen.
Back in my bedchamber, I kicked off my shoes, jumped into bed and pulled the covers over my head.
I needed time to think.
Seconds later, someone gave me a rough shake. I pulled down the bedclothes to see Virrellenta standing over me. I hadn’t heard her enter.
“It worked, Igor!” she said, her eyes glinting. “We’ve moved to another world!”
“Oh,” I said, not knowing what else to say.
“Tonight I’ll feast on fresh blood!” She licked her lips. “What is this new world like? Have you looked outside yet?”
Earlier, when I’d found myself once more in my own body, I had rushed to the window to check if I really was back home, but what with all the excitement, I hadn’t taken note of anything except the castle’s rooftops.
“No,” I said. “I’m supposed to be unwell, remember?”
“Don’t be a fool!” Virrellenta yanked the covers off me. “Go to the window and tell me what you see.”
I puzzled for a second why she didn’t look herself, until I remembered something from those vampire stories about the creatures’ dislike of direct sunlight.
I went over to the window and gazed out.
On the other side of the moat was was a beach. Waves rolled in from a blue sea which stretched to the horizon.
I opened the window and leaned out. The beach curved around the castle. Apart from some tufts of grass growing on the shore on one side and a rocky outcrop on the other, the view was much the same.
“Well?” said the countess. “Are we near a town? Can you see any people?”
“Not exactly… We’re right next to the sea.”
She snarled. “What’s to the rear of the castle? Go and check.”
I hurried out of my chamber, crossed the corridor into one of the empty rooms on the other side of the keep, and looked out its window.
“What can you see?” said Virrellenta from behind me. I hadn’t heard her follow me.
I turned away from the window, unsure how she was going to take the news.
“Um… There’s a beach on this side too. We’re on an island in the middle of an ocean,” I said.
She bared her teeth. “Any people?”
“No. The castle covers the entire island. It’s uninhabited.”
“It can’t be! Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
Her face darkened. “It will be another two weeks until the castle moves again… I cannot wait that long! I need to feed soon!”
I held up my hands in a placatory manner. “I’m sure Cook could rustle up something for you.”
“You know me better than that!” She curled her fingers like claws. “I need fresh blood.”
She stalked up to me and thrust her face close to mine. “I will dine at sundown on someone in the castle. Who do you think will be missed the least?”
“Ah… Well, there’s a certain goblin who–”
“Goblins don’t have red blood, you idiot!” Her eyes glinted. “But I’ve just thought of someone ideal.” Her nostrils flared. “Nobody could possibly like that busybody elf. She asks far too many questions.” She smiled and my insides turned to ice. “Trewla will be my victim tonight.”
*** Continued in Episode 16 ***
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