The Ice Mage Incident – Episode 2

Fragments of ice flew from my thudding heels as I paced up and down the courtyard next to the sleigh, my hands thrust deep into the pockets of my fur coat. To say I was steaming would be an understatement.

What I had intended as a romantic outing with just me and Trewla, had been tarnished by Grimmon’s sneaky manipulations to get himself included.

The first thing that came to my mind as he’d scurried off to find a horse, was to abandon the sleigh and take the tourer out before he returned. The trouble was, heating up the magnificent steam-powered car’s boiler takes ages and he’d be back before it was ready. Besides which the vehicle’s enormous weight would likely crack the frozen surface of the lake as Trewla and I drove across it. The thought of being dragged down to a watery grave put the final nail in the coffin of that idea.

Snow began to fall, which soured my mood further. But a minute later, the sight of Trewla coming down the steps from the battlements, a large leather satchel over one shoulder, cheered me up. I couldn’t help but admire her graceful bearing and sure-footedness despite the snow and ice coating the ground.

Her eyebrows lifted when she noticed the sleigh’s empty harness.

“There’s been a slight hiccup,” I said when she drew near.

She sighed. “There usually is.”

I was saved from having to explain by the appearance of Grimmon stepping out of the alley leading to the bailey. Lumbering along behind him, a huge pair of tusks curving up from his lower jaw, was a troll.

I faced the goblin with my hands on my hips. “What’s going on? Where’s the horse you promised?”

“Change of plan.” He tilted back his head and gazed at the troll towering over him. “Cedric here has agreed to draw the sleigh instead.”

“No, definitely not. You said you would get a horse.”

Grimmon gave a tight-lipped smile and shook his head. “Couldn’t find anybody who’d lend you one, even when I told them you were willing to pay.”

“I didn’t say anything about paying!”

“You didn’t. But that’s generally what people expect. Anyway, it didn’t help.” He patted the troll’s rear end. “Luckily, Cedric stepped up to the mark and saved the day.”

I recognised the troll. He was the one with an attitude problem who charges people a gold coin to cross the little stone bridge between the keep and the bailey. Well, me anyway.

“Good to thee you, mith Trewla,” said the troll.

Trewla gave him a smile. “Good to see you too, Cedric.”

I folded my arms and looked down my nose at Grimmon. “I’m not happy. I want a horse.”

“In that case, we’ll go without you,” said Trewla.

I gaped at her like goldfish. “I’m not saying I won’t go. It’s just that…” I flashed a dirty look at Grimmon. “I mean, a troll… it’s just not the done thing.”

Trewla’s brow furrowed and her eyes hardened.

“But,” I added quickly. “I’m always happy to compromise.” I gave her a long-suffering smile and beckoned the troll. “Come on old chap. Let’s get you hitched to the sleigh.”

Internally, I was grinding my teeth.

The trip was turning into a disaster and we hadn’t even left the castle yet.

Nevertheless I was determined to show Trewla my sweet-natured side, and to prove to her I was above letting minor setbacks – like the addition of a malodorous goblin and a large, hairy troll to our contingent – spoil our day.

As you’d expect, a harness designed for a horse wasn’t going to fit the troll, and it took a while to come up with a solution. In the end, Grimmon found a length of rope which we fastened to the sleigh and looped around the troll’s waist. Matters were proceeding nicely until the troll threatened physical harm to my person when I attempted to put the bit in his mouth.

That kicked off a period of arguing and, on my part, stomping around, until Trewla smoothed things over, and I was forced to compromise yet again. Which, she reminded me, I’d said I was always happy to do.

All told, it was midmorning by the time we bowled across the viaduct, the sleigh’s metal runners swooshing over the snow, and swept out onto the iced-over lake.

Without the benefit of a bit, and therefore reins, to steer the troll, I was reduced to calling out instructions to point him in the right direction. By and large though, the arrangement worked well, and we were soon sliding along at a merry pace, heading for the distant plume of smoke we’d spotted that morning.

It had stopped snowing by then, and as the sky cleared, the landscape was bathed by a wintry sun shining from the pale blue sky.

A solitary raven flew out from the trees at the side of the lake and flapped lazily overhead, keeping pace with us.

Lulled by the soft thudding of the troll’s feet on the snow-covered ice and the gentle hissing of the runners, I began to relax.

Leaning back in the seat, I stole a glance at Trewla sitting by my side.

“This is fun,” I said.

She grunted something which I took to be agreement.

Something thumped onto the back of the seat. Assuming it was Grimmon bumping around behind us in the baggage space at the rear of the sleigh, I ignored it.

“Judging by the amount of smoke, I reckon we’ll find a sizeable town when we get there,” I continued. “We’ll stop at the first decent inn we come across and you and I will have a nice meal together.” I lifted my chin and raised my voice so that Grimmon could hear. “Just the two of us.”

Looking straight ahead, Trewla said, “Thanks, but I don’t have time. There are things I need to buy.”

“What do you mean?” I gave her a puzzled look. “You can send Grimmon to shop around for anything you need.”

“Not the things I’m after.” She patted the satchel lying on her lap. “I’m planning to fill this with alchemical supplies.”

I didn’t like the sound of that.

“I thought you’d given up with potions to, you know, um…” I said.

“You’re right. Using potions to unravel the castle’s spell isn’t something I’m interested in doing on any longer.”

I breathed a silent sigh of relief. The last thing I wanted was for her to successfully reverse engineer the magic that hopped the castle from world to world. She’d take us back to her home world and I’d never see her again.

“So… alchemy, eh? A new hobby, perhaps?”

“I wouldn’t call it that.”

“Oh? What would you call it, then?”

“A project. It might take a while to research, but I believe alchemy is the best way to extract Wenzel’s spells from your head.”

She was, of course, referring to the spells from an ancient spellbook one of my less than literate ancestors had stolen. His mumbled mangling of the spells he’d read out loud as he’d thumbed through the book had inadvertently caused the castle to commence its behaviour of periodically jumping from one world to the next.

The contents of said spellbook, you will recall, were currently lodged like an impervious ball of iron inside my mind. Inaccessible to me, or anyone else for that matter.

“That dratted wizard’s spells are perfectly safe where they are,” I said. “They’ll only cause trouble if they get back out into the world.”

She turned her head towards me. “Don’t be ridiculous. All you’re–” She broke off and her eyes grew round.

I turned to see what had caught her eye.

A raven was perched on the back of the seat, staring at me with a peculiar glint in its eye.

“Shoo!” I yelled, raising my arm.

Before I could bat it away, it took to the air with a screech. Within seconds, its dark wings carried it swiftly ahead of the sleigh.

“Nasty creature,” I said, as it shrunk to a dot in the distance. “Probably came looking for food to steal.”

“No,” said Trewla. “It was listening to us.”

“Ha! It was only a bird!” I grinned. “You worry too much.”

We were roughly halfway across the lake, and Trewla was staring thoughtfully at the approaching cloud of smoke.

“I don’t think so,” she said. “We need to be careful.”

*** Continued in Episode 3 ***

The Ice Mage Incident – Index of Episodes